the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
