when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
