I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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