She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
