So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize