My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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