Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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