And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
