Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
