yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
