Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
