wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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