why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
