i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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