tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
