Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
