Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
