ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
