Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize