I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
