Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
