You made me cry and you don't even care
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need to stop coming to work sober
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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