i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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