You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
