She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
