he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
