He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
