I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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