he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
