PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
