Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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