She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
