I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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