The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize