Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.

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(323): View more from California

Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?

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(410): View more from Maryland

SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't text me with that hand

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(520): View more from Arizona

Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away

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(281): View more from Texas

Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

(940): View more from Texas

Deal.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

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(310): View more from California

Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?

(951): View more from California

You told me to go grocery shopping.

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(817): View more from Texas

Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!

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