so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
