So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
