we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize