Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
