Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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