He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
