If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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