she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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