McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
