its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
