Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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