My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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