Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
