Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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