God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
