3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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