Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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