Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I party with great urgency now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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