Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
