There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
