soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
