hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
