He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
