I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize