My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
