are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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