i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
