Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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