yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
