It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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