I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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