I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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