Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who died my cat blue again?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
