If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize