come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize