i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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