so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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