it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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